Now What?
by helpfulfairy92
Summary: Harry has a secret. AU, no RHr, or HG. Post Hogwarts, full on drabble. M to be safe for language and some adult content
Just a wee something for you. Hope you like it, leave me a review and let me know :) thanks for reading x

Harry sat on his sofa after leaving the burrow and let out a gusty breath. He had been so close to telling her, he'd had the perfect moment, quiet and just the two of them. And he had chickened out at the last minute. Had told her some lie about work and had left.

All he needed to do was open his mouth, and say the words, he'd used them hundreds of times, just never in that sequence. And certainly not to Hermione, no matter how much he had wanted to over the years.

He hung his head. He was such an idiot. Hermione was much too sensible to want to be with an auror, someone with a dangerous job. Not like him at all. He sighed again to the empty room, shuffling himself off to bed, where he stared at the ceiling, thinking of inventive ways to tell her how he felt about her. Had been feeling since he was a stupid teenager, who had no clues. Except now, he still didn't have a clue. He was single, mooning over a girl and probably wanked more now than he ever had as a teen. It was, quite frankly, a disgrace. He groaned aloud to the empty room, before rolling over and punching his pillow, trying to fall asleep.

The next day at work he was distracted all day, which was lucky in a way, he had a mountain of paperwork to get through. Better be surrounded by paperwork than be in the field and distracted. Hermione had sent him a memo earlier, asking if he wanted to get some lunch. Which he did, desperately. He also wanted to confess his big secret to her, but he wasn't sure how to tell her. How does one go about telling the woman of his dreams that you're in love with her. Have been in love with her since you were kids. It's not really the kind of thing one simply blurts out over lunch.

"Mate, do you ever get out in the field anymore? Or are you stuck behind this mountain everyday?" Ron joked as he walked through Harry's office door, flinging his long limbed self into a chair opposite him. Harry snorted, rolling his eyes at his best friends.

"I'll be here until the end of time at minimum" Ron gave him a pitying look. Ron cleared his throat awkwardly after a silence.

"Listen, mate, I have to talk to you about something. It's a bit, erm, delicate?" Harry put his quill down, and settled back in his chair. He eyed Ron suspiciously. He and Ron didn't discuss delicate things. Feelings and such were Hermione's department, they talked about blokey things. Like broomsticks and food.

"Oh? What is it?" Ron looked uncomfortable in the extreme. He was well aware of their men's friendship boundaries.

"Well, it's ah, it's about... It's about Hermione" Ron spoke to the surface of Harry's desk, rather than meet his eyes. 'Shit shit shit' thought Harry,

"What's wrong? Is she ok?" Harry panicked

"Well, it's just... It's just that..." Ron paused, obviously stuck.

"Merlin mate, just spit it out!" Harry eventually blurted,

"When are you going to tell her?" Ron asked, picking at a loose thread in his sleeve.

"Erm, tell her what" Harry pretended he didn't know what Ron was talking about.

"Mate. You can't lie to me. I know, alright. I know"

Harry was gobsmacked at Ron's words. His best friends ears had taken on that red flush, his neck was flushed as well, he looked uncomfortable in the extreme, eyeing the surface of Harry's desk still.

"Erm, well, see the thing is," he managed to stutter out before succumbing to a fiery blush.

"She probably doesn't want to go out with me" he said in a small voice after a long silence.

"She deserves better than, than. Well. Better than me anyway" Ron was silent, and Harry picked at a rough patch on his desk without looking at him. The silence stretched between the two friends, until it became even more uncomfortable.

"Are you shitting me?" Harry's head snapped up from where he was studying the desktop

"What?" He was struggling to make sense of Rons expression, but his brain wasn't working. "She's mad about you, you daft git." Harry's jaw swung open. Ron could have been speaking gibberish for all Harry was comprehending.

"What are you talking about?"

Why couldn't he say anything else! He'd been rendered stupid. The two men were staring at each other, in mutual states of disbelief, when a light knock sounded.

"Harry, are you ready-oh, hi Ron!" It was Hermione, come to collect Harry for lunch, and she wasn't expecting the other man. Or the staring contest the two were having.

"Erm, what's going on?" She asked shutting the door behind her with a snap.

"Yeah Harry, why don't you fill Hermione in?" Ron was almost taunting him, teasing him.

"It's fine Hermione, it's nothing." He said hurriedly, although he knew her well enough to know she wouldn't let it go so easily. Her eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to demand an answer.

"So" he clapped his hands.

"Lunch? You coming Ron?" As Hermione turned her attention to the redhead, Harry was trying to subtly shake his head at Ron, who was either being dense on purpose, or had missed Harry's frantic waving, agreed to join them for lunch.

For the next few weeks, Harry tried to figure out how to approach Hermione. It was on his mind so frequently that he was having trouble focusing at work. He had even had such a vivid dream one night about all his waking dreams coming to fruition, that he was convinced it had happened. Only to be half driven to tears when he woke up, and found that the other side of his bed was, in fact, empty.

It was getting so bad, that Hermione had thought he was sick with a fever whenever she saw him, due to the blush that had taken over his face whenever she was near. He had started avoiding her, spending his time cooped up in his flat, hiding from her-well everyone, but mostly her.

He couldn't avoid her forever though, she would know something was up. And he would probably upset her, or hurt her feelings, which he didn't think he could live with. That and he was never any good at hiding anything from her.

Things finally reached boiling point at Ron's birthday dinner at the burrow. It was late, after dinner, and everyone had retreated to their individual after dinner occupations. Ron and Luna were chatting with Molly about their upcoming nuptials, while Fleur and Bill were trying to wrangle their baby into some clean clothes, the cute dress she was wearing while having dinner was now covered in mashed peas, that were evading magical cleaning methods.

Hermione slid onto the couch next to Harry, where he was idly flipping through a book that Bill had lent him.

"Harry," Hermione began hesitantly.

"Mmmm?" Harry asked, pretending not to really listen. Focussing on the book on wards in his lap, all while being hyper aware of how close she was to him, her leg inches away from his own. His heart began pumping double time in his chest. Could she hear it?

"Are you upset with me?" Harry closed the book with a soft thump, studying it's cover to avoid meeting her eyes.

"No, of course not. Whatever gave you that idea?" Stupid Harry, she knows!

"Well you've been avoiding me a bit. And you started skipping our lunches on Sunday's. My parents asked after you by the way. And I've barely seen you during the last few weeks. I just." She paused, evidently gathering her thoughts and Harry could see as she noticeably took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. 'Great' thought Harry, I have upset her, and now she's angry with me.

"I've just been so busy with work" his excuse sounded feeble to his own ears, so it was no surprise when she responded with a disbelieving

"Bullshit", one eyebrow raising at him. Harry fidgeted with the book.

"Look, if I've done something wrong, or if I've upset you, I'd rather you just tell me and we work it out like the friends we are than this petty rubbish" she was getting a little worked up, her face pinking as she went on. He started feeling a little defensive, he wasn't being petty.

"No, Hermione-" Hermione interrupted,

"Don't you dare try to patronise me Harry, I know you, and I know that something is going on, why won't you tell me" her voice was raising bit by bit, and Harry was started to get frustrated. He couldn't tell her! It would ruin their whole friendship and then she would hate him forever and he would be alone again. Just like with the Dursley's. He would shut this down and they could carry on. She was staring him down now, her eyes willing him to lie to her, just to see what would happen.

"Listen, really it's fine. I'm fine, we're fine. Everyone is fine. There's nothing going on, just stay out of it Hermione" Harry was a shade away from snapping at her.

"Oh, so something is going on and you're not telling me. Wonderful Harry. That's great. I don't see you for nearly a month, you dodge every memo, owl, patronus, I even asked dobby to take you a note. That you ignored!" She paused to take a breath, clearly fighting to keep her temper in check, and mostly failing. She looked beautiful, Harry thought, even as she was yelling at him.

"Wait! Is this about the other week, with Ron? You're both in on it and leaving me out?" Hermione's face is turning a lively pink as her anger increased.

"And after everything we've been through, after EVERYTHING you're keeping secrets from me and telling me it's FINE?" By this stage, his usually placid best friend had gotten worked up to the point she was yelling at him, and Harry got even more defensive.

"No, I'm not telling you, this one I have to work out for myself, I don't need help with it ok? Merlin Hermione. I said it's fine, so it's fine ok?" He yelled straight back at her. Her eyes glinted.

"Oh, so you can tell Ron, but not me, what am I not good-"

"No! It's not that at all!" Harry interrupted her, which made her eyes flash dangerously, and her hair was almost quivering in her anger. 'Merlin she's exquisite' Harry thought to himself.

"I don't know why you're being such an arse Harry Potter, but I expect you to tell me right now. We don't hide shit from each other, that's not the kind of friendship we have Harry" her voice was shrill and demanding, her hair quivering around her head in a mass of chocolate curls. The word 'friendship' just added fuel to Harry's anger, he didn't want to be her friend anymore damnit!

"You really want to know?" Harry yelled, "well fine, IM IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I CANT LOOK AT YOU WITHOUT WANTING TO SNOG YOU SENSELESS. I DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU HERMIONE, MERLIN" he bellowed out, not realising that the others in the house had started watching their argument. Harry only had eyes for Hermione, who had let out a squeak when he had (maybe inappropriately) announced his secret. Her mouth was hanging open, all her anger gone, replaced by shock, and maybe disbelief at his confession.

After Harry's bellowed exclamation was met with silence, he began to feel the sting of rejection as Hermione continued to stare at him.

"Erm, right then" he said aloud to the uncomfortably silent room after a few minutes.

"Ok. I get it. I'll be off. Molly, thanks for dinner, lovely" with that he popped away, leaving the rest of the Weasley's and Hermione standing in a shocked and tense silence.

"Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid" Harry was

repeating to himself as he threw his belongings at the walls of his living room, before summoning them back and starting over again.

How could he have been so stupid to just blurt it out like that! In front of everyone! What was wrong with him! Sighing to his empty flat, he threw his shoe at the wall some more, hoping that it would help him feel better (it didn't).

It was a few hours later (and a few small holes in the walls) when there was a knock at the door.

"Bugger off Ron. I don't want to talk about it" he summoned a shoe and threw it in the general direction of the door.

It wasn't Rons voice that replied.

"No need to throw shoes at me" Hermione told him gently, banishing the shoe towards him and shut the door behind her, before cautiously sitting next to him on the floor, backs pressed against the sofa.

"So," she began awkwardly after Harry refused to volunteer anything. His eyes flicked to her as she spoke.

"Did you mean it?" She was fiddling with the end of her jumper, and wasn't meeting his eyes. She looked nervous, Harry thought as he studied her face, one he knew back to front and with his eyes shut.

"Yeah" his voice cracked and he cleared it quickly, repeating himself. No point in pretending otherwise, he had sort of yelled it in her face.

"Yes I did" she whipped her head around to meet his eyes.

"And now?" She shifted a little closer, one of her hands hovering, looking a little lost.

"Especially now" Harry shifted, taking her hovering hand in his, sliding their fingers together, threading his through hers and hers through his. The tension in his quiet flat was palpable, it crackled between them, and settled somewhere between his lungs and stomach, making it hard for him to breath

He wasn't sure who moved first, but the next thing her knew, their noses were bumping together and that his lips were so so close to hers.

"Hermione" he breathed, his free hand coming up to cup the back of her neck. They shifted ever so slightly, and then their lips were touching and he was kissing Hermione. And merlin be damned if it wasn't the best damn thing that had ever happened.

He kissed her like he was a drowning man, and she his supply of oxygen. He could hardly tell where she ended and he began. He felt like a walking cliche. But in that moment, he didn't care. Kissing Hermione was better than flying or firewhiskey or casting a patronus. It filled him up until he couldn't take it anymore and began kissing along her jaw line, her hands gripping his hair, as she gasped for breath in time with his own.

"Ahem," a cough broke them apart, flying back from the other in shock.

"I guess I don't need to do any damage control then?" a highly amused voice coming from the direction of Harry's front door.

Ron was leaning on the door frame, grinning widely at his two best friends.

"Bugger off Ron," Harry muttered as he chortled and closed the door behind him, yelling something about glove love, Harry was barely paying attention to anything that didn't involve the witch in his hands.

Harry turned to look at Hermione, their hands still linked together.

"So," he placed a light kiss to her hand

"What now?"


End file.
